I miss you so much. It feels pointless to even say. Words just can’t convey the emotion behind the statement. I wish you were here today – even if I could just talk to you for 30 minutes to hear your voice. Michelle and I went to brunch with Dad at The Canning House. We had a long wait, so we explored the building. There was a bunch of art displayed, a little tea shop, a coffee shop, a furniture store, a clothing store and pianos scattered throughout the building (which the boys and I had to play repeatedly of course). I kept thinking about how you would have liked it, wishing you were there with us.
Later, we watched your slideshow and some videos while listening to music that reminded me of you, so I could feel like you were with us. We watched your beautiful smile and heard your laughter. I love the video of you making snorting sounds to make little 1 year old Desi laugh. Hearing you and him laugh together is wonderful. I’ve spent Mother’s Day away from you before, but I always got to at least talk to you. Now I just feel the empty space in my heart trying to reach out for something that isn’t here anymore.
There are so many things I wish I could talk to you about. So much has changed and is going to change. I guess that is the inevitable path of life. You understood me in ways that others probably never will and not just because you’re my mom, but because you had an emotional intelligence that so many people seem to lack. I’ll forever miss that among so many other reasons I miss you.
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